the famous quotes and sayings thing
The mighty quotes of the great Phiip are back ! Laugh, cry, kick, vomit with our famouses politicians, men, women, animals and whatever...
The people quoted here are famous politicians, cartoon characters, ads guys, famous authors, artists, business people, astronauts (well, one astronaut) and greeks. Lots of well-know greek gods, goddesses, famous heros, superheros, inert matter, inert software and some animals. Famous ones of course...
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The quotes here benefit of the DUCK WARRANT. The DUCK WARRANT is like girls tampons :
you can do everything with it, including reading quotes. The DUCK WARRANT, I want it for my new abestos house. |
Last update 2 nov 2003. You can get a quote a day if you subscribe to the rabbit's comic strip.-----
| " Adam, I hate it when you call me your little cutlet..." | Eve |
| " Why can't I have seven-league Nikes for school ?!!" | baby ogre |
| " Oh noooooooo, the elevator's broken again..." | a Babel tower inhabitant |
| " It's too late for an abortion, now, we'll have to try something else..." | Tom Thumb's father |
| " Hmmm, Tom Thumb yogurth, with real lumps of Thumb !!" | baby ogre |
| " Adolf, stop farting at your friends' faces, you'll asphyxiate us all !!!" | Adolf Hitler's teacher |
| " Gandhi, I don't care about your non-violence bullshit, you climb on that ring and you stop complaining !" | Gandhi's sports teacher |
| " I've been happy banging the Sleaping Beauty for one hundred years... Why did I have to kiss her yesterday ??!!" | Prince "Charming" |
| " Hey, you have a plane in your eye ! Hehehehe !!!!" | the second World Trade Tower |
| " I remember when you where in me, Eve... I had a complete ribcage at that time..." | Adam |
| " No, you dumb fischerman, I'm no tuna, I'm a little mermaid !" | the little mermaid |
| " A can of peas and carrots ? Okay guys, this isn't funny anymore !!" | the princess and the pea |
| " Muhahahahaha !!!" | the fat lighter guy to the little match girl |
| " The worst part is when she belchs..." | Jonas in his whale |
| " For your birthday, I got you a complete sanding Pinocchio !" | Geppetho |
| " Aaaaaaaaaah ! Termites !!!" | Pinocchio |
| " Listen Pinocchio, you drop the fish knife, I drop the hand drill, and we talk, okay ?" | the little mermaid |
| " Please, not in the glazer tin, I'll do anything you want !!" | Pinocchio |
| " Some hardener here and there, and here I am, Twinkerbells !!" | Pinocchio |
| " And one gulp of wax for missssster Pegettoh, and onefor Twiiiiiiiinkebellsssss, and.... Hmpfff.... Hueeeeerkh!!" | Pinocchio |
| " Gnnnnniii.... Gnnnnnnniiiiii !!" | Vincent Humbert* (he is a french paraplegic trying to have euthanasia) |
| " Damn clock... Every hundred year, it's the same thing..." | Not sleeping anymore Beauty |
| " Day, night, day, night, day, night, hehehehehe..." | the cieling bulb |
| " How did you guess that I'm as blind as a bat ?" | Claude Monet |
| " Carefull, carefull... Damn, out again !! I really don't know how to color..." | Renoir |
| " Nice backgroung, niiiiiiice blue... Okay, I'm done, what's on TV ?..." | Yves Klein |
| " Huh, no, the trees aren't square you know... What ? What aliens ?" | Paul Cézanne's nurse |
| " I'm just doing a painting for the Red Cross... You want to buy it ??" | Malevitch |
| " So I'm governor of California ? Cool ! When does the film start shooting ?" | Arnold Shwargenegnennereger |
| " If that damned baker gives me another bad baguette, there will be some murder around here..." | Ariel Sharon |
| " I know, but I prefer to play chess ." | Fats Domino |
| " I think I'll paint the room black... No pink, that's a mysterious color ! Hmm, yellow ?" | Rouletabille |
| " Damocles, where did you put your sword again ? Haaaaaaaaa !!! Are you sick or what ??" | Damokles' mother |
| " This is the strongest nut ever..." | Tchaïkowski |
| " I don't want no stupid farmer's boots, I want cowboy's boots !!" | Puss in Boots |
| " I'n not cheating on Rachel, teacher, I'm coming on to her." | Casanova |
| " Please, maam, could I dissect another frog, please ?" | young Henri-Désiré Landru |
| " Sorry young man, you don't get your drivers license. Believe me, it's for your own good..." | Captain of Columbia's licence inspector |
| " I have to stop chasing flies with a rasor... Hey you, get off my ear !!" | Vincent Van Gogh |
| " I should take the tramway today... Aaaaaaaaaargh !!!" | Antoni Gaudi |
| " Who are you ?! And what are your lips doing glued against mine ??!" | Sleeping Beauty |
| " No, in four words... K.I.N.G. of T.H.E. B.E.L.... What ? No it doesn't sound stupid, it just needs some time getting used to !" | The King of the Belgians |
| " Hehe..." | Mona Lisa |
| " Wait, stop painting, I... Atchiaaa!!..." | Mona Lisa |
| " Yes, sure, I noticed your eyes aren't exactly the same color... Don't worry, you'll be atonished by the way I'm painting you... Muhahahaha !!!" | Pablo Picasso to one of the "Demoiselles d'Avignon" models |
| "Yeah, could you send me a temp for a replacement ? That would be for decembre 24th..." | tired Santa Claus |
| "I'm done like a hamburger." | King Burger |
| "We want cho-co-late !! We want cho-co-late !!." | a snails mob |
| "Excuse me, Phiip, could I have an autograph ?" | God |
| "Yes." | Pepin the brief |
| "Not, it's not Alexander the Grappe !! And keep all your... fruits for yourself !!" | Alexander the Great |
| "I'm not losing anything, this thing is insubmersible, so a litle hard water can't hurt, can it ?" | captain of the Titanic |
| "Tom Thumb, Fiona Forefinger, Fiona Forefinger, Tom Thumb." | Rusty Ring Finger |
| "Ho ho, I'm getting loose..." | your screw |
| "Sure mister Marx, I'm a filthy capitalist sucking up the hard-workers' blood. A baguette as usual mister Marx ?" | Karl Marx's baker |
| "I'm really please to get an Oscar for best comic strip ever, but I must say : at last !!" | Phiip, Oscars Ceremony, 2005 |
| "Don't worry, what's-your-name, even if you are second on the moon, you'll still be famous !" | Neil Armstrong and what's-his-name |
| "I love, myself, I'm so pretty, I'm so... Ho ho, I'm getting all excited again..." | Narcissus* |
| "No, I don't lay eggs." | the Easter Bunny |
| "Sure you hurt, but that really doesn't mean that your pain is INSIDE you." | the ass' doctor |
| "Krrrr... Bells formation three o'clock... Krrr..." | Dumbo |
| "Three hours of standby above La Guardia ? Pfff, every easter, it's the same thing..." | a bell |
| "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahh !!! An apple !!" | a doctor |
| "Why would Santa want me to... NO !! I won't be one of Santa's Elves !!!!" | Legolas |
| "President Lion ? No, I can't do that, it's too sissy !" | King Lion |
| "Goldilocks my ass, I say she's a squatter and we eat her!" | the big bear |
| "We're' out of thea, give me a tampon, will you ?" | Count Dracula |
| "The war in Iraq, I call that spoiling the food, and that's all." | Count Dracula |
| "And why am I summoned for that Elf Trial ?" | Legolas |
| "Georges W. Bush ? Hey, aren't you related to that other Bush that came to visit a few years ago ?" | Saddam Hussein |
| "This place really is a blast !!" | a surgical bomb in an hospital |
| "Oussama, could I come a few days to your beach house ? I need some vacations..." | Saddam Hussein |
| "Sorry, one article per person... No, I'm just fooling around... Hmm... Will that be all, sir ?" | my baker |
| "Captain Hook, could you give me a hand, please ?" | THE crocodile |
| "No, I don't have any light, I... Wait ! Tinker Bell !!" | Peter Pan |
| "Let me guess Tinker Bell... You're disguised as a firefly, right ?" | Peter Pan |
| "What we could do is put water in the coffin and get some fish, that would be real nice." | Happy |
| "Twenty commandments ? Are you crazy, this is heavy stone for chrissake ! I won't carry more than ten, okay ?" | Moses |
| " Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho, It's home from work we go !! What ?... Sorry." | Etienne "Germinal" Lantier |
| " Play Mikado with you ? Are sure about this ?" | Gilles de Tourette |
| " Excuse me sir, I'm sorry but you can't keep your life jacket during the flight..." | my plane's stewardess to... hmm... some guy... |
| "Well, time for my three days appointment with the manicurist again..." | Shiva |
| "I want to ride my ho-O-rse... No, still not right..." | Freddy Mercury |
| "Mister Geppetho, mister Geppetho, I had another nightmare with beavers..." | Pinnocchio |
| "So jaundice is green, measles is purple..." | doctor smurf |
| "Okay, so a dead fish for a hat isn't right... What kind of dead animal should I wear ?" | David Crokett |
| "Bloob... bloob... proatch... bloob..." | a red fish |
| "Sorry little rabbit, at Playboy we don't do does." | Hugh Hefner |
| "Take a number ? But I am not a number, I am a free man !!." | n°6 at the Post Office |
| "..." | Marcel Marceau |
| "No Peter, put that Baygon spray down !" | Tinker Bell |
| "Don't you have any cheddar ?" | the fox |
| "My eyes are NOT itching..." | Captain Hook |
| "Bip, bip !" | the Bip Bip |
| "Bip bip bip" | the Spoutnik |
| "Bip bip bip bip bip" | the Bip Bip in the Spoutnik |
| "I don't get it, I just said to her : pass me the olive oil..." | Popeye |
| "Oh no, I broke a nail.." | Wolverine |
| "..." | the mîme Marceau explains something to Daredevil |
| "You know what's funny ? You teachers will retire when you're, like 70, and I'll be retired in one month !" | Luc Ferry |
| "Luc Ferry ? That name sort of rings a bell, but... Who is he ?" | Jean Luc Raffarin, (prime minister) |
| "Jean Pierre Raffarin ? And again, why should I know this guy ?" | Jacques Chirac |
| "From the top of these pyramids, 20 centuries are looking at you !" | Julius Cesar |
| "Ha ha ha ha ha !!! Strike !!... Hmmm... Well, let's roll that stone up again..." | Sisyphe |
| "The first rule of Fight Club is : you don't talk about Fight Club. The second rule fo Fight Club is... Damnit, I forgot..." | Tyler Durden |
| "Couldn't we eat cold for a change ?..." | a dragon |
| "I don't understand, green is supposed to relax people..." | the Hulk |
| "Hey, hey, wash your hands ! People are supposed to have clean hands when retrieving the sword ! Hey !!" | Excalibur |
| "Mass destrcution weapons, what mass dest... Oh, THOSE mass destruction weapons... Okay, I made them up, got you !!" | Georges W. Bush |
| "Hey, sir ! Bread is for eating, not playing !!" | Charlie Chaplin's baker |
| "Please answer me with words, stop gesticulating like this..." | Charlie Chaplin's wife |
| "Here dad, a sonotone for your 60th birthday..." | David Halliday |
| "It's no use to put your hands over your ears, you know that ?" | the voice in my head |
| "No, relax Luc, it's not a strike, it's Whit Monday..." | Jean Pierre Raffarin (soon to be ex-prime minister of France) |
| "Tell me Luc, are you stupid or what ? This IS a strike, Whit Monday's over !!" | Jean Pierre Raffarin (soon to be ex-prime minister of France) |
| "No, I didn't cut off my nose, just my leg..." | Guillaume Depardieu |
| "Stop calling me ! Can't you just let me dead in peace ?!!" | Jean Jaurès |
| "The only important thing is win win win and win !! If you don't win, you're just a looser ! Aren't you supposed to be taking notes ?" | Pierre de Coubertin |
| "Gasp ! gasp ! Put me back in the water, I can't breathe ! Gasp .......No, I'm kidding !" | a mermaid |
| " They wouldn't accept "Alien" at the registry office..." | Aliénor d'Aquitaine |
| " Dangerous, radium ? You must be kidding, Marie, it gives superpowers !" | Pierre Curie |
| "You don't look like a mutant, Pierre, you look like a guy who has cancer..." | Marie Curie |
| "There's nothing more relaxing than a bath..." | Jean Paul Marat |
| "Passepartout, I have a good news and a bad news : the good news is I decided to stop drinking, the bad news is I made some kind of stupid bet..." | Phileas Fogg |
| "Crrrrrouii... Crrrrrroui... Crrrroui..(shhhhtt)..." | the trojan Horse |
| " Hoolo... Where are we going to put that thing ??..." | the trojan groom |
| " Ice, ice, ice, we want more ice... I'll give you ice, bastards..." | the waiter of the Titatnic |
| " But this panache is filthy !! I'll have to get the javel again .." | Henry IV's maid |
| " Wanna play poker, Saddam ?" | Osama Bin Laden |
| " Can I wear the spades for once ?" | the queen of hearts |
| " I don't understand, he shouldn't be long, he is never late..." | the White Rabbit's assistant |
| " He's a real sweetheart, but he eats like a pig." | bride of Pac Man |
| " I don't understand, all my apples are eco-friendly, how could this happen ???." | Snow White's apples dealer |
| " Okay, so my first name is John, second name Unknown, U, N, K, N, O... What ?" | the unknown soldier |
| " No, I'm not mad at you, darling ! Could you hand me over the axe on the wall ?" | Bluebearb |
| " I know a shortcut from Troy, we'll be back in no time !" | Ulysse |
| " Workdays !!! Tadadam... No, not happy enough..." | Madonna |
| " What do you mean when you say your rats escaped ? The twenty of them ?" | chief of the Power Plant, New York |
| " Yes, I admit it, I did all the drought by myself... Okay, I resign." | Lucien Abenhaïm, head of the french Health Services |
| " What do you mean I can't do scuba diving ? What do you mean I float ?" | Pamela Anderson |
| " Hi. Are you looking for international help or are you planning a terrorist bombing ?" | the girl at the reception, UNO, Bagdad |
| " This time, I stop smoking." | Evinrude, from Bernard and Bianca |
| " You won't dare..." | Marie Trintignant |
| " You see Tuco, there are three kinds of people : those with a gun, those who dig, and those who don't claim their relative's body." | Blondie |
| " Stop pulling my leg !" | Guillaume Depardieu |
| " My dear Thomas, you're really not the light of your age..." | Edison's teacher |
| " No Albert, you homework is done, or it is not done, this is not relative at all..." | Einstein's teacher |
| "Damn ! Where are my keys ?..." | |
| "Okay, so you have finished with the bed ? Then I'll go to sleep, see you tonight..." | my cat in the morning |
| "A herd of elephants ? Where, where ?..." | Eagle Eyes |
| "You can have sex with anybody I don't care, but how dare you sleep with her ?!!" | Morphee |
| "And why is it me again who must play Cyrano ?..." | Charles de Gaulle in highschool |
| "No, I'm not a hooker, I deliver presents to kids, and those are not pervert accessories, those are rendeers !..." | Santa Claus |
| "Hmmm, Santa ? If we go on mission, I think you should take of us the garters and the bras..." | a reendeer |
| "I will come back in, like, when I want again and I mean it !! No, that doesn't sound right..." | Terminator |
| "I might come back ?.... No, still not right..." | Terminator |
| "I have a motorcycle, I can be back just like that...Hmmm, that's better, but still not right..." | Terminator |
| "A nice ride and a pic-nic would be coool, let me get the horses at the stable and... Forget it, let's walk there." | the Augean king |
| "Too much partying last night, I have three headaches..." | Cerberus |
| "You lost the keys again ? Cerberus, what do you have three heads for ?" | Hades |
| "Woof, woof, krrraaa..." | Cerberus got 1/3 of a cold |
| "Hmm, no, thanks a lot, old lady, but I don't like apples, they make me fart." | White Snow |
| "Seven centimeters bootees ? Thank you mom !" | Tom "baby" Thumb |
| "What that in my hair ? Hieearrk !! Erika, you're a pig !!" | Poseidon |
| "Captain, it's not ice, you're holding your telescope backwards !!" | the Titanic's second |
| "I come for the 5000 kicks in the ass major service." | Steve Austin |
| "Wart hog girl ?" | Elephant man |
Hmmm... Did we tell you about that free subscription thing ?
That you can get one funny quote in your mailbox from monday to friday,
with that comic strip thing there also is on this site ?
You didn't check the comic strip ? Okay, here are some funny episodes
...
| "Meet my best friends, 8 carats and 24 carats." | Marylin Monroe |
| "If I put all my missiles away in Koweit... Then the UNO inspectors won't find them here in Irak..." | Saddam Hussein |
| "If you wanted a table for four, you should have asked for a table for four, and not for the Three Musqueteers or whatever..." | the head waiter at the Queen's |
| "I understand that UNO resolution thing or whatever, but MY new year's resolution was to do a little war..." | Georges W. Bush |
| "Genetically modified corn ? Hmmmmm !!!" | Frankenstein |
| "Sure Ilan, you were the king of the palestinian border Ilan, master of molotovs, Ilan... No Ilan, no demonstration please, this is a space sh..." | captain of Columbia |
| "Okay, okay, okay, I got it, I'm up ! Man, can't a girl oversleep anymore ?" | sleeping beauty |
| " And what do you mean when you say you prefer to do "a front portrait", hmm ?" | Cleopatra |
| " You know, kids, we might spend our next vacations in Koweit again..." | SCUD dad |
| " Where shall I put my big lucky magnet ? Hmmm, here, on the ship's computer !" | that girl in the Columbia space shuttle |
I hope you enjoyed that.
You can now continue your visit by going (or going back) to the home page, and check what you like...
Of course, you can also
to the quotes and the strip.
And for the last time,
thank you for dropping by, it was a pleasure.
