van gogh

sayings and quoting galore !

the quotes of the year 2004 are here ! Enjoy !

" Te te te te... Hmmm, that sounds like some kind of sissy stuff... I should try with TOMs.... "

" So you're a witch, but on your spare time, you give apples to people ? That's really cool... "

" Charming Prince, magical kiss, office open from monday to thursday, 9-17, specialised in poisonned apples and distaff. Cool add ! "
Prince Charming

" Mayday, mayday ! My broom is on fire, and the broomstick is unstable !! Mayday !! "
a witch

" I feel sick today, must be some swimmer I ate. "
a sensitive shark

" And me, nice child, I give you the beauty of the wart hog, the speed of the butterfly, the agility of the snail and the discretion of the monkey. "
the dislexic good fairy

" Hey, judging by the noise, there's going to be be a light storm.
Maybe I should take a coat or something... "

an inhabitant of Pompei

" No, that one won't do it. I need a much longer scarf. "
Isadora Duncan (
Famous dancer who died in 1926 when her scarf got caught in the wheels of her car in Nice... I'm telling you only because I couldn't remember her name without Google !)

" This is terrible, doctor, there's a noise in my head that goes : poc, poc, poc, poc... "
Roland Garros

" Eho !!! Ehhhooooo, anybody here ?? Ohe !... "
the 18th of june

" Let me spill some oil on that sword, and we'll see how long Excalibur will remain in this rock, hehehehehe... "

" You're just a bunch of sissies... Pull it, just pull it damnit ! Pffff... NEXT !!! "
Excalibur (before Arthur)

" Krrrr krrrr ... Krrrrr Krrrr KAVRRRRR VROOOOO VROOOOOOOOO BRRRRRRR [tjjjjj] MRRRRR... "
Phiip's CX Pallas (it's a car)

" You want to see me mister president ? Cool, I have great ideas for the 4th Raffarin's government !. "
Jean Pierre Raffarin (France's prime minister)

" I found a two-shell with a view under the sea for the summer. "
an hermit crab

" Hello, I'm the new one. "

" Another letter ? I hope it's not that jerk again... "

" No, not Monroe, Manson, M A N S O N... People confuse us all the time... "
Marylin Manson

" Hey, what are you doing !! Stop that, I've been raking the beach all day !! Noooooooooooooooo !!!! "
the gardener of Omaha Beach

" Excellent throat clearing, Jim ! Have you ever thought of becoming a composer ? "
Pierre Boulez

" Now I will tell everybody about what's in your stomach, muhahahahahaha !!!! "
a bad cookie

" Blood, blood, I want blood, gimme blooooood !!! Hahahaha, clic clic clic... Oh no... nails again ?... "
the nail clippers

" I don't think it's going to work out, René... Yesterday, at the concert, I distinctly heard you play an "A"... "
Philip Glass

" Ooooops, I stepped on the cat... Hey, that sounds nice... "
Philip Glass

" A boogle game for me ?! That's so nice of you... "
the Boogeyman

" Why are you looking at me like that ? Is there a problem with my hair ??... Na, just kidding... "
the Gorgon

" Hmmm, sorry, I seem to be out of ice... Do you want a hot coffee instead ? "

" Sure, it's barbecue today too, why ? "

" I hate it when I can't find the eighth hole in my sweater... Gnnnnnargh !!! "

" And give me also four liters of red nail varnish, please... "

" In my mind, the superhuman wasn't a sissie dude in tights, mister superman... "
Friedrich Nietszche

" So Karl, my theory is that clowns are exploited by cream pies who... What again ?!! "
Groucho Marx

" Chico, Groucho, wait, wait, I know a good joke ! So it's a capitalist who... what ?!! "
Karl Marx

" Hmmmm, melted lead... "
the Terminator 1000

" What the hell is the problem with that stain ?!! This is really becoming annoying now !!! "

an hairbrush

" No, officer, I'm not irregular ! Well, I'm irregular, but..."
a verb

"Darling, could you sew my nose back, I lost it playing soccer..."

" Hi Miss, I'd like twenty pounds of toothpaste, please..."
the Cat of Cheschire

" I'll take the blue escarole... hehehehe..."

(b) Lewis Caroll*

 " Format C: ? Hey, that looks like a fun command..."

a technician at wanadoo

" A variola epidemy ? We heard that was a escarole epidemy..."

a smurf

 " My favorite painter ? Klein, of course..."

a smurf

 " I'm a "bi" short of really being in trouble..."


 " No no no no no, I wasn't spying, hehehehe, I was just, huh, searching for... my keys that's it, my keys... Are you sure you want to delete me ??"

a cookie

" Hey, down in front, I can't see a thing, hey ! Down, hey ! Hey !!"

a small fries

" Hehehehehe... hehehehehe... hehehehehehehe... hehehehe..."

BN cookies*

" smack crac proatch..."

kellogg's rice krispies

" huhuhuhuhu... I'm completly stoned..." 

 Mont Rushmore

" No, I didn't see sunday, but tuesday just passed by, and thursday should be here any minute now, why ?" 


" Thanks for the barrel, Miss Danaïdes, my Waters of Youth are safe, now..." 

Ponce de Leõn

" No barbecue for me, thanks, bad memories..." 

the Phoenix

 " Send the photograph away !! Me alive, there'll never be a capitalistic poster of me printed !!" 

Che Guevarra

" I'm not bitter, just a little angry..." 

a lemon

" Sorry, I didn't get it, but when you said X-Files, I thought there'd be more girls and less aliens..." 

David Duchovny

" I'm switching to cd roms, now..." 

the discobolus

" I think I'll spend my vacation in London this year..." 

the smog

" Hehehehe... One more glass of rum, and younowat ? I'll be Ali rum baba !!! Krrr krrr krrr..." 

Ali Baba

 " No, I didn't lay any eggs on Easter, I... No, I don't know any rabbit... Okay, this interview is over !! " 

Jesus christ

" I'm out of black lipstick... I should try purple for once... " 

Marylin Manson

 " It's about my Alzeihmer... The customers are very happy, but I'm having troubles remembering what coktail they ordered... " 

a bartender

" After laying a few eggs for Easter, Jesus decided to sit on... Hmm, maybe I shouldn't tell that part... " 

Saint Matthieu

" Members of the UNO, I gathered you all to... Oh, look, somebody dropped a nickel !! " 

George W. Bush

" No, I promise, I'm not seventeen anymore... That was twenty years ago... " 

Michael J. Fox

" You didn't get me !! " 

the Alsace-Lorraine

" Un pas en avant, un pas en arrière..." *

the time

 " She's coming with me, she'll be gone in a minute !"

the wind

" Why is everybody looking at me sleepy and funny ? What ?..."

the summer time

" Why are the kids screaming, am I not a good clown ? Pfff... I'll just work in a burger or something..."

Ronald Mc Donald

 " I don't understand, who the hell is this Daisy who keeps sending me e-mails ??"

Ronald Mc Donald

 " I have to stop wearing a loincloth, everything is rolling all around, I'll switch to speedos..."


" An ad for Weight Watchers ? Why me ?"


" Eau de Socks ? Hmmm... Does that come in spray ?"


 " Eau de Quack ? Snifff... Give me three bottles of that !!"

a beaver

" Quack quack !!... Just kidding, kids..."

daddy duck-billed platypus

 " Damn, I lost almost all my clothes again..."

Britney Spears

 " Transformation !!!!"

a butterfly

" The threats on the french trains by AZF ? Sorry, we haven't anything to do with that... Hehehehe..."

Air Littoral's Senior Executive

 " Atchiaaaa !!!! Damn, my painting..."

Jackson Pollock

" Why the beavers have a flat tail ? Huh... that's supposed to be a secret..."

a duck

 " Aaaaaaaaaaah, let it go, Cheeta, let it go, this is not the liana !!!"


" No, nooooo, not the kaleidoscope !!"

a chameleon

" No, I'm not dumb, you're confused because I have a new haircut !"


"Why are you staring at my chest, is there a problem with my buttons ?..."

Monica Bellucci

"Well doctor, I think I have scoliosis..."

a sea horse

"Hey, what are you doing with that sponge ? Stop that, don't be foolish!!"

Water Man

 "Don't come near me with your trichloethylene !!"

Plastic Bertrand

" Gulp... I swallowed a fly..."

an old lady

" If I want the chandelier ? Sure ! What for ?..."

colonel Mustard

" What the... system error ? Okay, let's switch it off... launch it again... hmmm... yesss, working again !!"

Terminator TX

"Whooooohooooohoooo !!!"

the siren's song

"Ploof !! "

The Atlantide

 "Were are those damn keys, I've been looking for them for two hours... Ho ! Here they are ! They were right in front of my nose ! "

Edgar Poe

" No need to shoot like a maniac because you could get me out of this rock, I let you do it ! Stupid..."


" Hey, will you stop that, I'm not a pneumatic drill !! Aooch ! Aooch !  My Lord Roland, please stop ! Aooch..."


" I love playing darts, it relaxes me..."

general Custer

 " I'm sick of all those jokes about blondes..."

a 1664

" Hey saturday, quit pushing me behind, everybody go at his turn..."


 " Pi is just a sissy..."

the Avogadro number

 " I'm not the kind to hold a grudge, I just really liked that vase..."


" Hey ! I see you're all dressed up today ! What's the big occasion ?"

a penguin to another penguin

" The tuxedo, that's it, I'll put the tuxedo on today..."

the penguin

" Rintintin ?"


" Oh no... She ate cabagge today..."


 " Tintin, that's square tin..."

Professor Tournesol

"C'est un roc, c'est un pic... C'est un cap ! Que dis-je c'est un cap ? C'est une péninsule ! ..."

Pinocchio (t's a stone, it's a peak... It's a headland ! Did I say headland ? I meant peninsula ! – Cyrano de Bergerac)

"Don't turn around Melchior, but there's a black  fellow following us..."


" Hmm, hmmm, hmm, hmm..."

the temp that's trying to fill in the blanks

" Clovis, king of Euros.. I don't know, that doesn't sound right ..."

Clovis, formerly known as Clovis, King of the Francs

" Some américan girl sent me a mail saying "I love you" ! Cool ! I didn't know I had any friend..."

a french mail user...

"Well, this WAS a bloody sunday..."

Carrie (the one)

"Whahoo, nice whip, Vonder Woman !"

Indiana Jones

 "If you want a golden whip like Vonder Woman, I can help you, Indiana."

King Midas

 "No, I'm not recyclable."

the Tin Man

"That was the 140th vulcan to call me for Legolas part !!"

Peter Jackson

"Hey, Captain !! I'll be playing the part of Legolas in the Lord of the Rings !!"


 "What ? Small dick yourself, you stupid tourist !!"

the Manneken Pis

"One thousand billion is like ten to the power of fifteen..."

Captain Haddock

 "Hmmm, ohh, hmmm, yes, I  like it when you oooooooooh..."

Love Boat

"I've got good news and bad news... No, just joking, I've got only bad news..."


" Everything is alright, I'll just go eat some grass from that hill outside the woods."

Bambi's mother

" Want me to be standing front or sideways on ? Front ? Okay."

the paper at the copier

" Don't you have any yogurth, by chance ?..."

the fox to the raven

" What, me, capitalist ?!!..."

the ant

" Nonono... Aoooch !! Man..."

the tapping paper

 " Aoooch !!!"

the holiday wrapping paper

" Solidaritad con the workers in the entertainment industry without steady employment !"

the cicada

" My secret is the bulb."

tulp Fanfan

" So, that's were you put your box..."

Jack to Muhammed Ali

" Anything to declare ? No, just kidding you..."

the Douanier Rousseau

" In detention again ? Grrrmmbll... One day, I will take revenge of you all ! Muhahahahha !!!!"

young Saddam Hussein

" No kidding, I'm the real Magnum, look at the hawaïn shirt !!"

Saddam Hussein

" Hey, mylady lady Diana, which tunnel you want to take, rrright or left ?... Why is everybody yelling ?"

Paul Henri, driver of the princesses

" But if grand'pa is drinking the baby's bottle, then what is little Charles drinking ??!"

grand'ma Bukowsky

" Let me do... aooch !!... this, i can aoooooch... do it... aooch aooch aooch... damn sewing needle, I... AOOOCH !!!"

Sleeping Beauty

" Did you have a myxomatosis test ? Can I see it ?... Okay, come in my dressing room, pretty girl !"

modern rabbit

" You know what ? I'm not happy with what you just did ! Why are you laughing ?!!"


 " Reincarnated as Elephant man ?? This is a sick joke..."


" An eye doctor ? That's a stupid reincarnation, thanks to that "poet" guy..."


 " A zoo warden ? Why in hell am I reincarnated as a zoo warden ??"


" I'm reincarnated as a cockroach ? Muhahaha, you'll see how I'll spread disease and all... What's that ? DDT ? Hey..."

Adolf Hitler

" I am reincarnated as a St Bernard ? Very funny..."


" No, I'm pretty sure it's wild carrots."


" Come closer with that torch, so I can see... Hey, not THAT close, aaaaaah!!!"

Black Beard

" Tch... Krrrr !! Kof kof kof...  KRRR !! Krooff Krrhh !!! That's it, tomorrow, I stop smoking."

the little Train

 " Syntax Error ? What the f...!!"

Terminator 3

" Down with Chavardnaz... Chanawarz... Narchawa... Down with the Président !"

a dislexic georgian against Edward Chewardanaz... Chanawazat... against Edward...

" I think I will open a kindergarten for... huh, poor and sweet little kids..."

Michael Jackson

" Hoo hoo hoo Grrrr Mmmm waafff woofff !"

Mowgli explains something to Rin-tin-tin

" Ma'm, my clay man is broken again !!!!"

Frankenstein at the kindergarten

" Yeeeooh ! That Hyde bastard left hairs in the bathroom sink again !"

Dr Hyde

" Hey, that's Caïn ! How do you do my man ! Me ? Still in the grave, as you can see..."

the Eye

" Damn, I lost the thread of my thoughts again... What was I thinking ?..."


" With your complexion, I'd see more something plain and dark, you... Okay, okay, I give you the jacket with a multicolor check..."

Harlequin's clothes 's shop assistant

" No, no water thanks, I may oxydize..."


" I don't know, the pink one makes me look like a wuss..."

Bernard de Montragoux, aka "Bluebeard"...

" No, it's just because I just spilled a barrel of whine on my beard..."


" No, I'm not gay, I'm looking for a brave man, not for A man !!"


" No, I want an empty barrel. No, half empty is not enough, and no, I'm not thirsty !!"


" From the top of these pyramids, ten years of work and ten thousands bodies of dead slaves contemplate you..."


" Since I'm flying, I have this urge to shit on people's heads ?!""


" Yes, I know what a bearnaise is, and no, I won't talk !"

the little mermaid

" Yes, sure, I noticed your eyes aren't exactly the same color... Don't worry, you'll be atonished by the way I'm painting you... Muhahahaha !!!"

Pablo Picasso to one of the "Demoiselles d'Avignon" models

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